A Gov't Carol: The 12 Ways of Spending

Eric Scheiner
By Eric Scheiner | December 18, 2013 | 4:50 PM EST

In the spirit of all the Christmas specials that are hitting the air, we thought we would return again this year to sing a little number about the “12 Ways of Spending” the government decides we need.

Don’t feel that people in Texas should help pay for a bike path in Missouri? Well, the federal government says it’s necessary - and there’s a lot of similar programs.

Besides learning that many of us at the MRC are not good singers, we also hope you learn a little bit about some of the ways the government spends our money.

Rather than type them all out, we put 12 of them to a festive melody. Below is the final section of lyrics with links to information on the actual programs. Watch the video above to hear the song in its, uh...full musical glory. (CAUTION: We are not professional singers)

"The 12 Ways of Spending" (2013 version)

In my twelfth look at spending the government did for me:

Afro-Haitian drumming

Bag pipers piping (in Vermont)

Text some kids for walking

Study Mexican hookers working (and dating)

Keep electric cars a humming

Tijuana benches sitting

Study Brant Geese a-flying

Fund ObamaCare promoting

ID colored birds (NSF Funding: $1,895,101)

Stop washing hens (well, okay, chickens)

Fund “The Turtle’s Shell” (Crittenden Arts Council) performance

And a bike path in St. Louis, Missouri

The business and economic reporting of is funded in part with a gift made in memory of Dr. Keith C. Wold.

Eric Scheiner
Eric Scheiner
Eric is the Senior Video Producer for

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