Breaking the Chain of Anger: A Father and Son’s Story of Restoration

Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson
By Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson | June 24, 2015 | 2:25 PM EDT

Father and son watch the setting sun. (AP Photo)

“Happy is the man that findeth wisdom … She is more precious than rubies” – Proverbs 3:13-15

I want to share this with you to encourage you to trust in God.

My father impregnated my mother outside of marriage. She married another man before I was born, to spare us from disgrace.

I repeated my father’s sin and had a son out of wedlock when I was 19.

My son’s mother took him to live with her. When he was five, he came to California to live with me. Then his mother got married and moved to New York, saying, “Let him come visit, I promise to send him back.” She didn’t.

I hired an attorney. But, because his mother said my son had taken her husband’s last name (another lie), it appeared there was nothing I could do.

It was very depressing – at one point I thought I would not physically survive.

Fathers suffer greatly when mothers and the courts prevent them from seeing their children.

Every once in a while, I was allowed to briefly visit my son.

I saw I had to stop trying to get him back, and wait until he turned 18.

I knew he would hate me. Because, not all, but most mothers, especially black mothers, unconsciously turn children away from fathers.

And since kids only hear one side, they become angry with fathers. They resent mothers, too, because they see the disdain mothers often carry toward the men who used them.

I also began to see the need to get my spiritual life together. I called myself a Christian, yet anger controlled me.

I asked God to let me see myself, and He did. I was of darkness. I resented my mother, who was impatient and wouldn’t allow me to be with my father, for whom I yearned.

When God caused me to see myself, He also caused me to forgive my mother. He opened up the Kingdom of Heaven within.

Meanwhile, my son turned 18. He called and said, “I want to come see you.”

He came out from New York, and everything I loved, he hated. We’d go to dinner, and if I liked the meal, he hated it. I let him curse at me. But I had limits. There are two things I’ve always requited from visitors:

One, they can’t drive my car. They don’t treat it right.

And two, they can’t make long-distance calls. I get stuck with the bill.

So I said, “You can’t drive my car, and you can make only one call. Call your mother. Let her know you made it. And no other long-distance calls.” But he rebelled.

I told him, “I realize you’re doing this because you think I didn’t love you while you were growing up. But if you want to be free, you’ll have to forgive. I had to forgive my parents, and God forgave me and changed my life.”

When he ran up my phone bill, I put him out. He stayed at my aunt’s house for a night or two, then went back to New York. I didn’t hear from him for some years.

I asked God to restore my son to me, because I knew he needed to love his father, so he could love God, have peace and pass on love to his children.

He eventually called me up: “Pops, I finally had a talk with my mother. I could see you were telling me the truth about how she lied. I want to apologize. I’m sorry for hating you.”

That was refreshing to hear. But some more years passed, because the relationship wasn’t totally repaired, though I still had faith that it would be.

Every time he’d call after the apology, he’d ask for money. I told him, “I’m not giving you money. Because that’s not love. You need to forgive.”

God said He would bless our seed and everything in our lives if we’d turn back to Him.

So our relationship has been building. He’s brought his son and daughter out to see me.

But this week, as I was walking into a meeting, I got a call: “Hey Dad … you got a few minutes?”

“I wanna tell you that I am glad you are my father. You didn’t give me money, but you gave me something greater. You gave me spiritual wisdom. You gave me understanding. And I realize now, that’s greater than the money I wanted from you. I love you; I’m glad you’re my dad; and I see now what’s going on.”

I said, “Wow! Where did this come from?” God has restored my son to me!

I always tell these men, “Don’t fight with your children’s mother. Try and get your kid, but if you can’t, turn back to God, and He’ll restore everything. You’ve gotta suffer for the wrong you’ve done, so just be patient, endure, but never have doubt.”

God restored my son, who now understands that life is spiritual – not financial or physical. He will now pass down love to his children. The chain of anger is broken.

Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson, founder of the Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny (BOND), is the most courageous, outspoken critic of the liberal left and the so-called "black leadership" in America today. Often referred to as the "antidote to Jesse Jackson", Jesse Peterson is also the man behind the National Boycott of the NAACP, believing the organization to be nothing more than a tool of the "elite, socialist" elements of the liberal elite. You can find out more about Jesse and listen to his national radio show M-F, 9 a.m. - 12 Noon ET / 6-9 a.m. PT here.

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