Editor’s Note: Normal people might find some of this offensive. (We hope. Dear Lord, please!)
My friend and Houston talk radio star Sam Malone and I got talking this week about how insane the left has become. He used a term that’s been floating around a bit lately – the Alt Left. After months of media whining about the Alt Right, we discussed whether we start branding whacko libs as the opposite of the media’s favorite target on the right.
Here’s the problem. The Alt Right is Alt for the reason that it’s separate from traditional conservative thought. It came into being for that precise reason. The whacko, violent, rioting, conservative-hating, faith-hating libs that dominate the online and off-line worlds of the left -- they’re not Alt at all.
They represent the mainstream of so-called liberal “thought.”
A great example of this worldview came this week from Slate’s Jamelle Bouie story, headlined: “There’s No Such Thing as a Good Trump Voter.” Forget “deplorables.” According to the reality-impinged Bouie, “Trump campaigned on state repression of disfavored minorities.”
It’s hard to argue with that. No, that doesn’t make it true. It’s just so far removed from sanity that it’s hard to tell where it left Normal Land and headed into drooling, smear-yourself-in-your-own-feces dementia now common to liberals.
That kind of crazy takes us to this week’s examples and helps establish that we will, henceforth call these nutty sites Alt Left. You can always tell when a pronouncement is official if it uses terms like “henceforth,” “whereas,” and “Ateslay isway utsnay.” (Editor’s note: Thanks to SnowCrest, Inc. for the useful Pig Latin generator. Because who doesn’t need one of those?)
“You Gotta Be Cruel To Be Kind”: Hat tip to Nick Lowe for understanding the left decades before today’s politics. In the bizzaro world of Vice “News,” you gotta be rude to be liberal. Vice Senior Editor Harry Cheadle (Hint: Probably not a fun dinner guest.) wants New Yorkers to be rude to the Trumps. Because that’s always a good way to build bridges to your political opponents. Actual quote: “It's time to start a nonstop protest campaign of rudeness against Trump and his brood.” Isn’t “brood” such a great liberal word? He could have said family, but “brood” is a great othering word. I’m sure we could find a German equivalent that Cheadle would approve of, as well. Harry wants New Yorkers to offend, harass and otherwise target the Trumps. Actual quote 2: “If you see a Trump, say something. Specifically, say, ‘F--- you!’” Harry wants you to “refrain from any actual violence” but fails to admit that this jihad against the new presidential family might lead that way. Especially, since Trump supporters have been attacked a lot. Then he sums up with this killer quote: “We've voted against Trump, we've written the Facebook posts expressing grief or rage, we've donated to Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, we've taken to the streets in protest.” Bear in mind he’s a Vice Senior Editor. Yes, Harry, thanks for summing up a lot of what is wrong with your type of so-called “journalism.”
“World-Historical Heroine, Light Itself”: Nope, that’s not a quote about Mother Teresa. Or Jesus’ mother Mary. That’s a quote from nutball, liberal actress Lena Dunham’s newsletter Lenny. It refers, naturally, to Hillary Clinton. This canonization is written by author Virginia Heffernan who told in loving (her word, not mine) detail about “each new display of our heroine's ferocious intelligence, depth, and courage.” Her piece was both love letter and lament, complaining that Hillary didn’t get enough good press. Yes, libs don’t want journalism, they want worship. Actual quote: “If only one reporter — they knew about us — could have published a headline like ‘Clinton Inspires Historic Levels of Adoration From Her Supporters.’” The whole piece goes on in that vein. It’s a parade of ridiculous comments piled on top of ridiculous comments. If you want to embrace the same schadenfreude you get when your football team beats an arch-rival, check out Heffernan’s hilarious ode to Hillary. Actual quote 2: “But the feminist hero never got to be a legend first. And yet she is one, easily surpassing Ben Franklin, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs.” Yes, Hillary easily surpasses one of the most influential Founding Fathers. Oh, yeah, that’s right. “Fathers” means he was part of the evil patriarchy, or some such nonsense.
The Liberal “Nightmare Scenario”: The media seldom talk about it, but along with dominating academia and media, liberals dominate our government. One of the reasons the Trump victory is so controversial is you will have a chief executive who is at odds with so many of his employees, 35 percent who might consider quitting now that Trump has won. Slate, the same responsible outlet that thinks all Trump supporters are awful, whines that he will be too right wing and then makes Nazi comparisons as it questions whether anyone should work for him. Georgetown University Prof. David Luban (see above about academia) actually argued, “it seems likely that the new administration will be the most right-wing in U.S. history, more than either the Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush administrations.” And we’re supposed to see that as a bad thing? Then our buddy Luban tries an amazingly silly rhetorical argument. He says he will talk about Nazis but without “moral equivalence,” even though that’s precisely what he’s doing. Actual quote: “At this point, I will break one of my own personal rules of writing—the rule to never use Nazi analogies when you are writing about anything but Nazis.” I sometimes wonder what American politics was like before liberals said everyone they opposed was like Hitler. They’ve done it to every GOP nominee/president from Reagan on to Trump. Yet media idiots swallow it like the lapdogs they have become.
Special thanks to researcher Callista Ring for her invaluable assistance this week.
Dan Gainor is The Boone Pickens Free Market Fellow and Vice President for Business and Culture for the Media Research Center.