Commentary

The CNBC ‘Joke’ Everyone Should be Talking About

By Jen Kuznicki | October 29, 2015 | 4:53pm EDT
CNBC Presidential Debate (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

The Republican debate on Wednesday night was a national joke on the media.  In order to prove my simple point, I went back and boiled down the questions and admonitions from the CNBC “journalists.”  Taken altogether, it is impossible not to see the bias against, ignorance of, and even disdain for the men and woman on the stage by the media representatives.

What’s your weakness?  Are you a comic book character?  Your tax plans are stupid, and we are smarter than you.

We want the one who disparaged two of these guys yesterday to say it again here to their faces, so we can have a chuckle.  No seriously, could you just say what you did yesterday about the extremists in your party?

How are you going to pare down the tax code to a few pages? Are you going to use really small type?

You missed a bunch of votes. Why don’t you resign?  Do you hate your job?  We’re not sure the standard we set for you should be the standard we need to set for others.  Please admit that the people in your party are know-nothings. 

We think corporations are evil and that you are a terrible CEO. Why should we hire you?  Your friend is a kook. Why should we believe you?  Did you dare disagree with Mark Zuckerberg?

The government is raising the debt ceiling and you are against it. Why are you so dumb?  Is everything your way or the highway?  Aren’t you supposed to agree with leaders that the media fawns over?

Your entitlement reform plan will put the elderly in the street. Are you going to break America’s social compact?  Businessmen are never supposed to fail. What’s your excuse?  Don’t you agree business should be controlled by government?  Shouldn’t manufacturing executives go to jail even after recalling their product and paying incredible criminal fines?

We have read the opposition research on you, so why don’t you just admit you are a failure at life and stop running for president?  You can’t stand women, isn’t that true?  You hate gays, isn’t that right?

Someone took your picture and put it on their website without your permission. Doesn’t that mean you are guilty of something?  Won’t you denounce your colleague in the Senate?  When the media accuses you of something, shouldn’t you just accept what we said you’ve done rather than make us look stupid?  Once again, just because the media has their information wrong, we are obligated to accuse you of wrongdoing and gloss over our incompetence.

What is it with you people, why do you insist on telling us about your tax plans?  We are working on our own agenda, why muck it up?

Businessmen are hated by their employees. Do you think it’s wise for them to show up to work armed?  We are going to point at one of you and ask another of you whether or not he’s fit to be president. Can’t you just play along?  Corporations are heartless. Shouldn’t our loving government take control of them?

Why don’t you stop talking when we tell you to?  How can we get it through to you, all your issues would be better addressed by more regulation and more government?

Oh, and you had all better admit Ronald Reagan was an extremist.

Jen Kuznicki is a wife and mother, seamstress by trade, and American patriot who says, "Now is the time to act."

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