Editor’s Note: Normal people might find some of this offensive. (We hope.)
What will Huffington Post be like without its branded namesake Arianna Huffington? The left’s most-influential intersection of anti-conservative propaganda, fluff, crazy and puppy pictures needs a new boss. The founder of a site so big that it carries her name is moving on “to build Thrive Global, a new lifestyle, health and wellness site.” It’s easy to assume this new site will push her agenda that people need more sleep. (No, I’m not making this up.)
In honor of Huffington’s exit, this column will be devoted to insane, sleazy or left-wing goodies buried among the bytes of HuffPo this week. Have no fear, without the demented, profane and pornographic, HuffPo would be pretty empty. It should continue to give the gift of garbage for years to come. On the plus side, I expect it to provide the Media Research Center with lots of ridiculous content to criticize.
All Lives Matter = ‘Separate But Equal’: Liberals have three default criticisms and anyone who disagrees with the left receives some number or combination of them -- crazy, stupid or ism. They’ve been calling GOP presidential candidates “crazy,” “stupid,” or “racist” since Reagan. The most popular “ism” for the left is racism. Disagree with any racial narrative and you are called racist, even if you are a person of color. Just ask my friend Herman Cain. Self-described “leftist” Madeleine Sweet took issue with the “reactionary #AllLivesMatter hashtag” because the left thinks the only solution to racism is more racism. Sweet’s argument is “that in our society we regularly fail to treat black lives as though they matter.” What she ignores is that we fail to treat millions of white, Hispanic, etc. lives like they matter, too. If she doubts this, perhaps she might want to learn about Appalachian poverty sometime. Of course, liberals think the only way for people to be treated equal is for the Supreme Court to rearrange black-and-white chess pieces on the board of life. (H/T Robin “Mork” Williams.) Actual quote: “#AllLivesMatter is as much an assertion of white supremacy as 'separate but equal' was. Now analyze that anyone felt the need to even unpack that.” What she really means is you must acknowledge her safe space view of the world where liberals are never bigots even when they are, like at Claremont colleges.
Let’s Make Fun Of White People: Comedians aren’t allowed to be funny anymore. Even Jerry Seinfeld says he avoids college campuses because “They’re so PC.” In Canada, if you make a joke someone doesn’t like, they file a complaint with the Human Rights Commission. Thank God, there are always white people to make fun of. HuffPo ran a humor video about a 29-year-old white hipster trying to choose career paths -- between grad school and making craft beer. It was all about the saga of “this heavily burdened group of Americans” that must be demonized everywhere -- white people. The segment is painfully unfunny and includes items like the parents admitting they’d pay for his lifestyle either way (the dad keeps giving his grown son cash, too) and the son calls his parents foul names. Actual HuffPo quote trying to be funny: “For centuries, one group of Americans has had a particularly tough time finding their way in the world. Of course, we’re talking about the white middle-class men in their late 20s.” (If you want to see how actual funny people handle this, check out Eddie Murphy in “White Like Me.”)
Pity The Poor, Bigoted, Child-Hating Liberal Cartoonist: One of the most disgusting things to happen this election season got very little attention, largely because it involved Washington Post cartoonist Ann Telnaes making fun of Ted Cruz’s young children -- ordinarily something strongly opposed by both sides in U.S. politics. Telnaes, a Pulitzer Prize winner, depicted the Cruz daughters Caroline and Catherine as monkeys. Yes, a white cartoonist depicted Hispanic children as monkeys and got away with having the animated cartoon taken down with an explanation. That’s it. Remember, liberals can’t be bigoted slime even when that’s exactly what they are. Now she laughs about her struggle against being “Cruz missiled” in a new video with two other female cartoonists about what it’s like drawing Hillary Clinton. “I had a social media slug fest for four days,” she whined, complaining about the bad names others called her. Actual quote: “We go after people in power. This is our job.” Telnaes’ definition of people in power includes little children, as long as they are the right children.
Let’s Put All The Crazy Sex Stuff In One Item: Barely a day goes by in the twisted land of HuffPo that doesn’t include weird sex stuff that’s “NSFW” (or Not Safe For Work, like everything after this point). This column posts after breakfast, but maybe I can save lunch for many of you with a nifty roundup of the worst. (I’ll skip the dog plays with a dildo story. Yes, they really wrote that.) First we have the new Trump image made up of 500 penis pics. Actual quote: “Donald Trump has already been immortalized by his image painted in menstrual blood. Now a different kind of portrait is currently representing for the Republican presidential candidate.” Probably says more about the “artist” than the subject. Next, we are urged to “meet the woman” arranging a musical event in the “Uterine Concert Hall.” Actual quote: “Canadian artist Dayna McLeod is staging a show in her vaginal canal. How? Well, it’s complicated.” I should hope so. Lastly, we get to “Dive Into The Fantasies Of An Obscure 19th Century Erotic Illustrator (NSFW).” Those include demonic sex, bestiality, lesbianism, necrophilia and a preacher having sex while reading the Bible. Why? Because HuffPo editors are apparently a bunch of sex-obsessed freaks.
Dan Gainor, the T. Boone Pickens Fellow and vice president of the Business & Media Institute, is a veteran editor whose work has been published or cited in the following media: Congressional Quarterly.com, Investor’s Business Daily, Chicago Sun-Times, New York Post, Washington Times, Orange County Register, San Diego Union-Tribune, Dateline Washington, Janet Parshall’s America, Chuck Harder Show, Thom Hartmann Show, American Family Radio, CNBC’s “Power Lunch,” CNN’s “Paula Zahn Now” and Fox’s “Hannity & Colmes” and “Fox Business Live.” Mr. Gainor holds a B.A. in political science and history, an MBA from the University of Maryland Robert H. Smith School of Business and a master’s in publications design from the University of Baltimore.