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Canadian Suggests Five Northern Destinations for Depressed Clinton Supporters

By Barbara Hollingsworth | November 10, 2016 | 11:31am EST
 

Brian Hutchinson, a columnist for Canada’s National Post, has written a helpful guide for Clinton supporters like Barbra Steisand who vowed to move to Canada if their candidate lost the presidential election.

The guide will help ensure that they do not get a nasty surprise when they arrive up north.

“Welcome, American refugees! Bienvenue à tous! Thank you for considering Canada as your next home,” Hutchinson writes.

“Judging by the sudden level of interest you’ve shown in our country — you crashed our Citizenship and Immigration website last night, hours before Donald Trump delivered his victory speech — we expect millions of you to be crossing the border very soon.”

In “Moving tips for Americans – Where you should go to avoid Canada’s Trump-like regions,” Hutchinson explains that “there are certain places in our great federation you might want to avoid.

“Southern Alberta, for example. It’s a bit like Missouri, or Texas, or Oklahoma. You know, sort of…Trump-like. You’d arrive there, look around, and probably think you’d never left the mid-west.”

Instead, Hutchison suggests that Clinton supporters check out these five non-Trump-like locales:

Nelson, B.C.: Discovered by Vietnam draft dodgers who never left, Clintonistas can just “show up in a Subuaru with an ‘I Hate Trump’ bumper sticker and you’ll be made to feel welcome.”

Regina, Saskatchewan: “The birthplace of Obamacare. Probably the only relocation incentive a depressed Democrat needs right now, yes?”

Muskoka, Ontario: Monied and spoiled, this lake-dotted vacation spot is perfect for left-leaning Hollywood types looking to escape the inevitable Trump-administration blacklist. We’re looking at you, Alec Baldwin.”

Rivière-du-Loup, Quebec: “Wolf’s River, to you. Except you don’t want to be calling this town by its English name, ever, because your fellow residents will hate you for it. This is a French-speaking community, sur le fleuve Saint-Laurent. Remember that and keep your mouths shut, or learn the damn language. (Sorry for swearing.)”

Nain, Labrador: “Nain, despite what its ideal location might first suggest, is not for the faint of heart. Or the weak of mind. Or for people who quickly tire of wind, rock and ice. We only suggest Nain because it could use a shot in the arm and because we figure some of you might wish to do some serious penance on behalf of your homeland. If so, this should be the place.”

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