Nike-Wearing Pimp Stomps on Man, Sues Shoe Maker for Lack of Warning Label

Matt Vespa
By Matt Vespa | January 13, 2014 | 12:01 PM EST

In the the history of insane lawsuits, this one may be the worst.  A Portland pimp is suing Nike for $100 million dollars.  The reason: he wasn't warned that his Nike shoes could be used as a weapon.  In July of 2012, while wearing Nikes, Sirgiorgiro Clardy viciously stomped on the face of a john who was trying to leave without paying Clardy's prostitute. For beating the man to a pulp, Clardy received a 100-year prison sentence as a result.

Clardy, who is representing himself in this dispute, wrote "under product liability there is a certain standard of care that is required to be up-held by potentially dangerous product (sic) to the fact that these defendants named in this Tort claim failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction it has caused personal injury in the likes of mental suffering."

Aimee Green of the Oregonian wrote on January 10 that Clardy was less than cooperative during the trial.  In fact, he was obnoxious. Additionally, "a psychologist declared him an anti-social psychopath who was 100 percent likely to commit violent crimes again. And Clardy disagreed so loudly -- making such a scene -- that he was removed from the courtroom," wrote Green.

Yet, we shouldn't dismiss Clardy's lawsuit outright.  This legal claim is in the spirit of the McDonald's case where a woman spilled hot coffee on herself, sued, and collected.  Apparently, this person didn't know that you can get burned - at times severely - if you try to cup hot coffee between your knees.

As a result, these wacky lawsuits are what prompted companies to put labels, like "harmful if swallowed," on fishing lures - and "remove child before folding" on baby strollers.  For goodness sake's, Nike and Michael Jordan were sued by a man who claimed he looked like Jordan, and was tired of being confused with the NBA all-star.

So, tragically, a lawsuit against a shoe manufacturer for failing to warn that its shoes could be used as weapons shouldn't come as such a surprise.