Kansas Bill Would Let You Spank that Kid 10 Times--or Until His Bottom's Red

Dan Joseph
By Dan Joseph | February 18, 2014 | 11:09 AM EST

Currently, if you're a teacher in the state of Kansas and you want to spank a kid that's been sass-mouthing you, you are not permitted to beat that child to the point of redness or bruising.

Well, GOOD NEWS TEACHERS!  A new bill that's been proposed in the Kansas legislature would allow you to spank that child far more vigorously, ensuring that your student learns some much needed respect.

The bill, introduced by Del. Gail Finney (D-Wichita) would allow teachers to strike a child up to 10 times and hard enough to leave redness and/or bruising, according to WGHB Fox 8.

The bill also clarifies that anyone who is given permission by a child's parents is permitted to spank that child.  So if you just don't have the energy to lay down some good, old-fashioned discipline on precocious little Billy, you can keep relaxing and let the mailman do it.

Shockingly, not everyone is crazy about the proposed bill.

"So maybe they did spank or were spanked as a child, but now we have research that shows it is less effective than time out," pediatrics nurse, Amy Terros told a local Kansas television station.  "It tends to lead to more aggressive behavior with a child."

But let's be honest here, people.  If I'm a kid who has a choice about which state to misbehave in, I'm going to pick one of the 30 states that bans corporal punishment and stay the Hell away from Kansas.