Same EPA Office Still Beset with Heinous Bathroom Hijinks

August 22, 2014 - 11:20 AM

Back in June, the Environmental Protection Agency’s Denver regional office called in a workplace violence expert to help stop its employees from defecating in the hallways. Two months later, it seems they may need to request a refund. The problem has gotten out of control.

Recently-released memos and emails from the same office show the problem is much worse than originally thought. The documents reveal the “beyond gross” conditions of the office bathrooms and the apparent fear that has gripped some employees:

"One of my employees refused to come into the office today because she is terrified after hearing a story on the train home last night."

"A male supervisor ... told her that management knows that it is a female on the [redacted] floor who has been wiping feces and menstrual blood on the walls (I'm really sorry, this is beyond gross) and that they are worried that her behavior is escalating."

One email chain disclosed “a list of at least nine suspected restroom incidents.” These events lasted throughout the summer. The situation escalated to such a degree that EPA officials called for Homeland Security officers to patrol the hallways and other trouble spots.

The first line to the EPA’s mission statement reads:

“EPA's purpose is to ensure that all Americans are protected from significant risks to human health and the environment where they live, learn, and work.”

The appalling conditions at this EPA office are both outrageously funny and highly unsafe for those that work there. Seeing as the EPA has proposed an avalanche of new regulations this year controlling every part of ordinary Americans’ lives, perhaps they should physically clean up their own house first.