Conservative actress Stacey Dash recently gave a talk at the Claire Boothe Luce Institute's 2016 Western Women's Summit in Santa Barbara, California.
Dash, whose is black and whose new book "There Goes My Social Life: From Clueless to Conservative" will be released June 6, talked about her philosophy of not being a victim and how women can strengthen men and America.
Dash's remarks begin at the 13:30 mark of the video, and a transcript is below.
Thank you everyone, and thank you Clare Boothe Luce Institute for having me, I feel very honored to be here and it’s nice to see beautiful young women, conservatives, who want to change this country and make it great again.
I am not a liberal and I am not a feminist because I am not a coward.
I believe that the feminist movement has been hijacked by women who like to blame and, you know, just become victims and instead of taking responsibility for what they want and what they want to do.
There’s always an excuse. It’s liking playing a gender card, and that is something I don’t do, and that is cowardice.
Claire Boothe Luce embodied the very opposite of this. She was born into poverty, she created a heroic life of extraordinary accomplishment. The thought that she would consider herself a victim of patriarchal capitalist oppression would have been a tasteless joke to her, and it is to me, and I hope is to you. Because, I mean, you know, we can’t blame anything on anyone, we have to be responsible. And that is part of what being a conservative woman is, being responsible, and being able to stand up for what you believe in and fight the good fight.
Pretending to be a victim and [not] taking responsibility for the mistakes you’ve made in life is the easy way, and believe me, I know this more than you can imagine. If anyone could claim to be a victim in life, to toss responsibility around, and not take it on myself, it is me. But I have chosen by the grace of God, and only by the grace of God, not to do that, to be responsible for my own mistakes, for my own life, for my own past, and for my future, for my destiny - not to put it into anyone else's hands.
So I definitely won’t be blaming it on any race card or gender card. And I would suggest that no one else do that either, because you’re all too beautiful, too smart, and, you know, too strong to allow that to happen.
That’s why I wrote my book, “There Goes My Social Life: from Clueless to Conservative,” for the purpose to help people to understand, to help women in particular, to understand that no matter how badly life has treated you, no matter where you come from, no matter what school you’ve gone to or not gone to, no matter what your background is, it doesn’t matter. You can do what you want if you take responsibility for your life and take the actions and work hard to achieve those dreams. But that’s up to you. You have to decide, what is your value, what are you worth, and what are you worth working for.
So much has changed for the American woman in the past 100 years, I mean things have happened that our grandmothers would, you know, roll in their graves about. Our great-grandmothers would not believe we’re driving cars, we’re doing things that they could never imagine. My grandmother never drove a car in her life, and here I am driving a Challenger Rallye Redline.
But on the way, you know, to us having all these victories in the movement of women, gaining our right to vote, gaining our right for equal pay, we’ve chipped away at the value of being a woman, being feminine. That somehow has been thrown to the side and been disregarded as being something bad, and I don’t think it is. I think it’s part of our power. I thought being feminine is part of being a woman and part of the power that we have that no one else does, you know. We are sexy, we are beautiful, we are intelligent, we are powerful, we are insightful. And these are all things that we can use, these are our gravitas that only we have to use.
And we make the men in this world. We bring them into this world. They can’t come here without us.
So, we, we the women of America, are a big part of making America great again, and we have to know that in our hearts. We need real empowerment for real women, real American women. We had a women’s movement, several of them, and like I said we’ve won all of them, and they’ve chipped away at our values. And those values being: a stay-at-home mother. Which to me is the hardest job on the planet and should be applauded.
Being a mother, I can tell you from experience, is the hardest job on the planet, and anyone who wants to do that should be applauded for that not looked down upon because they decide they don’t want to work in a boardroom. They are working just as hard as you if you’re working in boardroom or you’re a lawyer or a publisher or whatever you are. They should be applauded and not looked down on.
And also women should use whatever they have in their toolbox to get what they need. That’s not a bad thing and they should not be shamed for it, you know. You should use what God has given you, what God has graced you with, to get what you want, instead of blaming others, or using excuses or using that gender card to say you didn’t get this or that because maybe you didn’t negotiate properly. Learn how to negotiate better. Make them an offer they can’t refuse.
The true feminist movement should be one that stresses that women are sexy, beautiful, powerful, intelligent, and brave. We must touch with the empowerment that can be gained from all these things, ok? Together we have to use them all to get what we want back, and that is this country.
We women have to stop blaming men for all of our downfalls and empowering them, because the more we blame them the less they become men, and you all know what I am talking about. It’s really hard to find a good man, a man that is really a man. And that is our job. Our job is to make them feel like men, and to help them feel like men, not try and take their place. It’s fine to walk alongside them and be equal with them, but we can’t be them and they can’t be us. And that is part of our power. Only we can do that. And as women we have to learn how to do it. It takes a certain kind of savvy that I think we can all learn and do to get what we want in this life. Instead of trying to come at war with them, because it won’t work that way, we’ll get pushed aside, they’re bigger.
Every woman must start using everything in her toolbox. We have so many useful powerful efficient tools just waiting for us to put them to work. And I think that if you’ve got those things, you know, if you find the value within yourself - and I would challenge all of you to go home and thing about it. Think about what is your value? What are you worth? What’s important to you? What’s your genius? What are you willing to use to get what you want instead of an excuse about what you can’t get? What can you get and how can you get it? I challenge you to do that because you might be surprised at what you come up with.
We must accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and don’t mess with Mr. In-Between. That means letting men be men and let us be women. Be grateful that you’re a woman. We have the power. There’s a reason that the queen on a chess board can move in any direction she wants as many times as she wants, OK? Let’s not forget that, it’s chess, not checkers.
Our appearance should appear as our strength. Let your fashion flag fly. I was in “Clueless” after all, fashion is a big huge part of what I believe in and what you look like. You know you don’t want to dress like a man would dress if he were trying to dress like a woman, OK? Dress like a woman. I would say name but I’m not going to.
By our very femininity we create success in this country. As mothers we create the leaders. Let’s start acting like we do. Let’s start taking on that power and accepting that power and letting that power make us feel strong and empowered, because that is the only way. If we keep crying wolf, the only thing that’s gonna show up are wolves. No one’s going to rescue us, we have to rescue ourselves. That’s the only way will gain respect, and that’s the only way we’ll respect ourselves.
We don’t want to be victims. No one here wants to be a victim. You have to refuse to be a victim I refuse to be a victim. I will not be a victim to anyone. I will not be a victim of my race, I will not be a victim of my gender. I will not be a victim anything. I will find a way around everything, and I suggest that you all do the same, and I know you can.
So stop playing the gender card, that’s just giving into the victim ideology. Vault above that excuse. Stop crying wolf, ‘cause like I said, when you cry wolf, only wolves show up.
So with respect to yourself, you can respect others, and then gain that respect and move on with that respect and get everything you want in this life. Start being a woman, or start being a woman again, if you forgotten what that is. Some of us do. I mean, we get hurt and we forget our value. Some of us need a man to validate us, and some of us don’t, and I applaud you for that. But there are some of us who do. And I’ve been victim of that. And you can read about that. It’s in my book. It’s a sad place to be but it’s also a very strong pace to be. Because then you realize you have to come up from that ground when that man lets you down. And you have to be able to say, I’m going to build myself up with my own two feet, I’m going to pick myself up by my bootstraps, and I’m going to walk in the direction of my destiny on own without anyone else.
Because sometimes you are alone, by yourself. And that’s OK, because you’ve got God with you no matter what you do.
So I suggest you start using your individuality. We’re all different. God has made each and every one of us different. Each and every one of us had something that is very powerful within us that is not like anyone else. And that is up to you to decide what that is, and that’s why I challenge you to go home and think about that and talk about this with God and ask him, what is it that is your destiny? What is it that God wants you to do with this world, for our country, for your fellow man?
It’s important. It’s what’s going to help our next generation. We can’t be selfish. We don’t have time for that anymore.
So with that, I would just like to close by saying I believe in our country. I believe in us as women. I believe we are the strength and the backbone of this country. I believe that we make the men in this country. We give birth to them. We are mothers to them. We are wives to them. We are sisters to them and we can build them up instead of tearing them down. And it’s important because we can tear them down very easily, we know we can.
So I just, I look forward to seeing what all of you do with what I’ve just said and how you take this information and go forward in the world and make your mark and stand your ground and fight for what you believe in no matter who tells you you’re wrong and tries to stop you. And that takes great bravery and I know you have it. By the grace of God I know you have it.