Cosmo: Waiting Until Second Date for Sex ‘Now Considered 100% Outdated’
Tired of feeling "outdated" and "old-fashioned" in relationships, ladies? Try a dose of Cosmo advice: hook up on date one.
Women's magazine Cosmopolitan has unleashed its "Sex on the First Date" piece bashing the waiting rules for sex. "Along with not wearing white after Labor Day (seriously?) and waiting for a guy to ask you out (eff that), you can add 'Don't have sex on a first date' to the list of rules that are now considered one hundred percent outdated."
Cosmopolitan, a self-described, "lifestylist for millions of fun, fearless females who want to be the best they can be in every area of their lives," latched onto the topic in its August issue by questioning 1,000 18 to 35 year-olds on their reactions towards first date hook-ups. It sent the results to more than three million subscribers, according to the Audit Bureau of Circulation.
Cosmo turned to research from Jeff Wilser, the New York-based coauthor of "It's Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked." The magazine's poll found that sleeping with a guy on the first date doesn't ruin the prospect of a relationship later on - or, as Wilser explained, "If there's chemistry, there's chemistry, and from the guy's perspective, it doesn't really matter if we hook up on date one or date seven."
In the name of 2013, "when the world is a lot less sexist that it used to be," Cosmo slammed "hard-and-fast dating rules" and "old fashioned expressions" about waiting for sex as "antiquated and harmful" while polluting the dating world with "unnecessary anxiety and shame about something normal and natural."
As social psychologist at Harvard, Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D, urged to the magazine, "It's important to establish sexual compatibility early on, and having sex might be the right move."
Cosmo admitted that getting "nekkid with some dude you've known for only 2.5 hours" isn't for everyone. Wilser provided a few legitimate reasons to wait on a guy: if he appears "sketchy," says YOLO (You Only Live Once) or gushes about "Fifty Shades of Grey." Virgins, moral and religious adherents, and STD-infected women should give pause as well.
After telling stories of relationships formed after first-date sex, Wilser advised women to focus on the "you": "Don't wait because you think the guy will lose respect or interest. Wait because of how it will affect you. It's really not about him."
If a guy doesn't call back, "Maybe he's too picky, maybe he doesn't feel a spark, maybe he's commitmentphobic, or maybe he's a just a game-playing douche," Wilser says, but, when it comes down to it, "men are unfazed by first-date booty."